An ode to senioritis

Dear Senioritis,

I’ve been struggling with you for a while now, in fact, I caught my viral case junior year. Some people (my therapist) call my relationship with you toxic. However, I think we are more star-crossed acquaintances. For years, I had heard tales of the havoc you reign but I was under the impression I would be immune. Tempted to leave this letter empty and have it serve as poetic irony, today, Senioritis I vow to defeat you. My little victories cannot be wiped away by your vile grasp. I have made it. As a second-semester senior that has frequently lived by the quote “I get productive when I am nervous” from my favorite show, Psych; Senioritis you took away the one key part of my academic identity. Yes, yes, I can feel you rolling your eyes at me, telling me that “it’s not that serious.” Maybe you’re right, but I don’t want to hear about it right now….remember, I’m taking control. The three overdue assignments mocking me on my Schoology home page would have tormented me years ago. But now, I acknowledge that it could be worse and therefore, it is another little victory for me.

To my friends: doodle jump and Wordle, you got me through this time…even though the monsters in the doodle jump extension kill me nearly every single time. To my enemies: AP Research and Journalism current events, you know what they say, “keep your friends close, and your enemies closer” and to you, my enemies, this is certainly true. AP Research, not a day went by without your constant attention though with my patience and love, you turned me into a stronger (and sexier) researcher (but you certainly drained every bit of motivation I thought I had). Journalism current events, without a doubt, you were the most annoying part of my week, someone had to say it. I consider myself to be a relatively up-to-date person regarding current events…I mean I listen to my little podcasts in the morning before school…what more could I do?

Anyway, Senioritis, when you took away my motivation to do anything academic, you made sure that I had the motivation to wake up early to get a parking space every morning and for that, I thank you. I am certainly not where I thought I would be but I am proud of where I am. A year ago, Stanford University was my dream school – I was absolutely convinced that I was destined to go there. One nightmare of an interview for Stanford later, it’s safe to say that was no longer an option for me. The funny thing is, I wasn’t even slightly upset when I opened the rejection letter. I think I wanted to go to Stanford for their name and reputation, and yes, the education, but quite frankly there is no way I would have been happy there. Maybe I will apply again for my masters, or even my PhD, but you get the point. At this point in my life, Stanford isn’t the right school for me and nothing is wrong with that. As someone who has been working incredibly hard just to get to graduation, from two years of online school, friends who moved away, and experienced too many losses of loved ones, I feel like for the next part of my academic journey, I need a break. And for me, that looks like attending the University of California, Santa Cruz for neuroscience. Slowly, I can feel myself getting my productivity back – this week alone I completed four out of five AP tests (well, AP Research does not have a test, BUT I submitted my paper and that still counts okay…). Unfortunately, defeating senioritis doesn’t happen overnight, so I’m not magically cured or anything. But, as the end of senior year approaches, my case of senioritis slowly eases up…sort of….I wish I could end this on a high note with me magically being cured but that is simply not realistic, nor possible. I know this isn’t the finish line, but with less than a month of school left – the end is definitely in my line of sight. Defeating this ailment isn’t going to be easy at all, but I have faith in myself that I will be okay.

Until next time,
Lorie